Old School

                                                                                                             

When it comes to snow, I like to stay one step ahead, just like the Finn brothers, who showed their regional pride by incorporating the abbreviation of their native land, New Zealand, into their band’s name...Split Enz.

One of the most intriguing aftermaths of our recent snow blitz has been the complete shutdown of the federal government and the eerie sense that no one cares.

Thursday’s Wall Street Journal quotes Oklahoma Senator Tom Coburn, a “small-government curmudgeon” stranded in a snowed-in Capital building.  “The best thing is we’re not passing any legislation, which ultimately will save the government a lot of money,” he told the paper.

As Senator Coburn relaxed in his office and caught up on his correspondence, the rest of us confronted the realities of digging out from the second major storm to hit the Atlantic Seaboard over the last week. 

When it comes to snow removal, I’m old school--a trusty shovel, a steady pace, and a systematic approach.  I don’t begrudge those who favor snow blowers; I’ll probably succumb to temptation eventually.  But for those who know the simple pride that comes from cleaning a driveway all the way down to bare asphalt, I share these basic rules from 40 years of shoveling snow:

1. 1)Pushing is always better than lifting. Sounds simple, right?  Wet snow has the consistency of wet cement, but unlike concrete, it comes with a nice slick coating of ice at its base.  As long as you don’t let the accumulations grow beyond three to four inches, you’ll find yourself pushing more snow than actually carrying it.   That’s why you’ll see me shoveling late at night rather than at the break of dawn.  I don’t want to give that snow a chance to freeze.  Nothing prettier than shoveling under the moonlight.
   

2. 2)Bad backs go to those who wait.   Procrastination has its place (Funny how the color of my wife’s Post-It notes are getting much brighter and tougher to ignore).  But take it from me.  When heavy wet snow is collecting outside your garage, you want to attack it repeatedly.   I personally like to build a steady momentum, which can be entirely impossible when you let the snow get above 4 to 6 inches.  My sons think I’m crazy, but trust me.  Three passes when the snow is still manageable beats the desperation and near suicidal thoughts that will crop into your brain when you see a virgin foot lying across your driveway.
   

3. 3)Consistency over Chaos. My sons don’t know how to shovel snow.  They look at a driveway and erratically fritter from spot to spot.  They get discouraged too easily and come up with inane excuses, like it’s too cold or their gloves are wet.  Another round of Call of Duty beckons.  Sad.  A true pro prioritizes.  Builds momentum by breaking the project into small components.  I know where I’m going and how I’m getting there.  And I make sure my gloves are dry.
   

4. 4)Hot drinks are for wimps.  Okay, there I said it.  Shoveling snow is hard work.  Get a nice cold beverage, stick the bottle in the snow, and reward yourself when you accomplish a milestone.   Hot drinks just slow you down.  Your mind wanders.  You end up thinking about old Campbell Tomato Soup ads rather than the task at hand. 
   

Anyway, nothing is more “mmm....mmm...good” than the satisfaction of a job well done.